You live you learn

2008-10-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently lost his dad, and recently I lost a cousin of mine who was young and had four children she was raising. I guess this has been kind of downing me lately. Every day I wake up, and I seem to be afraid of the world, afraid of living life. You'd think knowing that life could be taken away from me at any moment would give me the momentum to want to get out there and do things, but it has just made me worry. I go out with Kyle and we hang out with our friends. I went to a party last weekend, and I talked more than I ever have with the people who were there, thats the same at school I talk to everyone, but it's been weird because normally I am not that outgoing. I am seeing myself in a different aspect and being more confident, but I am still afraid to really live life. I mean I try but it seems every time I start to do something fun, I think about Charity, and why should I be having fun, she's gone, should I still be mourning? It's so confusing to me. Especially when I have no one to talk to about it really. Of course I have Kyle and he is SUCH a BIG help I mean he lets me cry and just talk, just like he does when my mom and I fight, I cry and he listens and talks me through it. But with Charity's death, he had only met her twice and can;t do anything but be sad for the family. I guess it's hard to be there to give me advice when he's never really known loss. And how lucky he is to not know it. He tries so hard, but I just need someone to tell me what it is I should do. He tells me Charity wouldn't want me this way and I know that, but I guess I just need to her it from her own mouth...but that wont happen. Life's really hard right now, with fighting with my mom all the time and Charity's death it's like my worlds turned upside down, thank god I have Kyle here for me he's helped a lot...I guess I have to try to block her from my mind but,that isn't what I want. I guess I will just have to keep leaning on Kyle until I can find my mind set again, until then I'll continue to think of you Charity and every time I do, I think of how amazing you were...

Something I've Been Taught

2008-10-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

Lately I've had a lot of skeptesism thrown at Kyle and I because we're so young, and we're in love, and we can't see ourselves with anyone other than each other. My mother love's him and doesn't doubt that we'll end up together, but others do. At first it bothered me, because you can't put an age on love. But then I took a different approach. I looked at my sister and her husband and I saw that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as he and I are happy and we work through our problems and deal with our life. I'm almost seventeen (nov.14) and I am literally counting down the days until I am eighteen and it can be us. But If there's anything I can honestly say I have gotten out of my sisters relationship with her husband it's that you have to be in control of your happiness, and you cant let anyone get in the way of that, if they try then they obviously don't belong in your life. Kyle and I will not let anyone bring us down, and we are honestly happy. Those of you who think it's all a sex thing, it's not. We truely are in love. I trust him with my world, he's always there for me at any time I need him he will come from where ever he is to see me if I need him. So we're going to take after their example and live our life for our happiness, and no one elses.
Thanks sis.

Young Love

You live you learn

Something I've Been Taught